Why I Love the Twilight Saga

Ha! That's right, I said it. I love the Twilight Saga, but not for the same reason that the teenager girls do. In fact, they're part of what I love about the series.

I read an article while I was on my after work Twitter clicking called If 'New Moon' Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest. It was hilarious. It basically broke down New Moon to its most basic ideas and used the actors names instead of the characters. So Kristen and Robert talk to each other as if they were the actors, not the characters. He refers to her as having "dull angst". She basically calls him a creepy old pervert when he asks her to marry him. And it's because of articles like that one that I love Twilight. They remind me that it's okay to appreciate the series, as long as I remember how ridiculous it is. And I like the idea of day walking vampires.

I love the wretchedness of Bella Swan and the horrendously overbearing Edward Cullen. They're perfect for each other. They swoon and fawn and gross me out all day long. I wish that it wasn't such a devestating thing for the teenage girls to find out that real love, and real men, aren't really like that, and most women are damn glad about it too. Real love is easier than constant attention, and it's more rewarding than being dead together forever. When I read the books, I had to keep telling myself that they were 30, not 17 and 109 years old, so that I could turn the page. I didn't like Romeo and Juliet because they were only 14. Regardless of the era, I think that there's just no way that you know that you're willing to die for someone when you're 14, unless they're one of your siblings or parents. I mean really. What if you're wrong and this magical, wonderful person isn't worth dying for? Do you have any idea how pissed your parents are going to be? I think that people need to experience life and get to know themselves before they make any kind of commitment to another person, but maybe that's just my backwards thinking in action. (It's my blog, I can say what I want.)

The way that the world revolves around Bella and Edward is funny to me as well. It's like they live in this bubble of blind people. Obviously, there is something wrong with Edward and the rest of his family. If the kids are all adopted, why are their eyes the exact same color? I have a sister with blue eyes, one with brown and a brother with brown. My eyes are brown. We're related by blood and we have different eye colors. These vampires are related by blood too, but they're supposed to be adopted by the Cullens, not inbred weirdos. And they're ghastly pale, sickly looking. Edward looked particularly ghoulish as he stepped out of the dark alley in Volterra too. There are poodles and little old ladies wishing that they could find whatever whiteners the Cullens use on their skin.

I feel bad for Stephenie Meyer's husband too. He's got a wife with an image of "the perfect man" that is nowhere near what any real man could be. I hope he doesn't try to measure up, or that if he does, that it isn't killing him. It must be exhausting to always have to profess your undying love to someone. He's like a pull string doll. Pull the string: Bella I love you. Pull the string: Bella, Marry me. Pull the string: I love you forever. If Edward was smart, he'd realize that Bella is just lucky to be there and doesn't need to be fawned over all the time. Shoot, they'd probably have an even better time with each other if they weren't always wrapped up in some talk about loving each other forever and making her a vampire. I don't know how she can stand it. No man can be that attentive, and its a good thing too. I hope that this isn't how the teenagers think that a man is supposed to act. I'd be so annoyed if my every move was monitored, watched, coddled or otherwise controlled. The part when Edward took the distributor coil out of Bella's truck to stop her from going to the reservation to see the stupid werewolf (don't get me started on my hatred of the werewolf. Pansy.)would have made me so angry, I wouldn't have spoken to him for days. I'm so glad that I don't have an Edward. I will give him credit for his thoughtfulness though, but he's too thoughtful most of the time.

Well, that seemed more like a rant than a profession of love, but I do have to say that I like the books; the story is nice if you remind yourself that their not teenagers. And I look all over the internet for funny articles about the series. I found another good one at theoatmeal.com. Enjoy!