Peter Pan Complex

There are dozens of different ways to learn a version of the story of Peter Pan and I'm fairly certain I've taken in most of them. But until this week, I'd never actually read the book and learned the story as J.M. Barrie intended. I'll never know what took me so long to read it; it was an absolutely wonderful page turning adventure and I learned a lot about myself in the process.
The story happens as it's been told and retold before. Wendy, a young English girl, is happy in make believe worlds with her brothers until Peter Pan, a young boy who refuses to grow up, comes to get his shadow out of her nursery. He finds out that Wendy knows stories, she knows what happened to Cinderella, and he wants her to come to Neverand with him to tell stories to them all like a mother. Wendy agrees after she learns to fly, along with her brothers to the second star on the right and straight on 'til morning. Peter is arrogant, selfish and he says "I want to always be a boy and have fun." And he does. The Lost Boys, Wendy and Peter have adventures in Neverland until Wendy decides that it's time for her and her brothers to return to their own mother. Peter acts like a brat, like the eternal child that he is, but eventually, everything works out as promised by the author in the beginning of the story.
Mothering is a huge theme in this book. Wendy is charged with the task of being the mother to Peter and the Lost Boys. Wendy's own mother plays the part of a caring and nurturing woman who has a kiss that Wendy can not have. In fact, only Peter Pan can have Mrs. Darling's kiss.
Peter's rejection of mothering, but affection for Wendy creates most of the inner tension of the story. He wants so badly to be loved and cared for, but his free spirit and his immense pride keep him from really giving anyone a true look at him. He's a wonderful boy, full of life, but he's sad about his fate. He has no mother of his own and doesn't remember ever having one. He loves Wendy but eventually loving Wendy means that he has to grow up which would be worse than death. He wants to always be a boy and have fun.
It's a wonderful adventure, one that's easy to read, but surprisingly deep. The author tells the story the way a story teller with no pages to reference does - it's very conversational and I find this to be one of my absolute favorite ways to read a story. It's even possible to find yourself clapping to save Tink's life. I never had the urge to clap while watching Mary Martin go on about her little fairy. (Although "Finding Neverland" had me believing in fairies)
It seems strange to think that a story about a headstrong, selfish, cocky and overly brave little boy would have such a deep impact on a "grown" woman but it really did. We've heard of men having a Peter Pan Complex, wherein they refuse to grow up and act like an adult in spite of their age. They're irresponsible, temperamental, cocky and sometimes downright fantastic to have. But after reading this book, I think there might be a female version of the Peter Pan Complex too.
It was Mrs. Darling who pointed this out to me. She is sitting in the nursery with her children and thinking about the name she's been scrubbing from Wendy's mind. (Our mother's scrubbed our minds when they tucked us in at night so that we could sleep. Now I know why it's so important.) Although she knows that she doesn't really know who Peter Pan is, she believes that she might and she feels that she's seen his face in the faces of some women with no children. This was the point for me when I thought that maybe, just possibly, that might be why I still feel like a girl, not at all like the grown up that I am. There're a lot of things about my lifestyle that aren't very grown up, but I'm of the grown up age and yet I don't consider myself to be a woman; I'm just a girl in my heart. I've just recently celebrated my 30th birthday but I forget all the time that I'm old enough to buy beer. It's great that age is truly just a number to me and I don't know how I've gotten this lucky. But is it possible that part of the secret of eternal youth, of refusing to grow up, is not being a mother? If so, I think its great because I always want to be a girl and have fun. There are millions of mothers out there already, doing a fantastic job and enjoying it and I'm grateful to them. As for me, I'll enjoy this eternal youth and hope that my body will keep up.
Oh the cleverness of me.